okinako

Cut fabrics made a comeback in fun new prints and much-loved designs from our archive as the IKEA Museum and the Tyg home fabric collection celebrate IKEA's rich textile history.

Meet

Jayvee

Nostalgic, rustic styles against layers of nature-inspired shades and textures create a calm cosiness and a welcome respite from colour drenched maximalism. Let's snuggle up, shall we?

Meet

Jayvee

Nostalgic, rustic styles against layers of nature-inspired shades and textures create a calm cosiness and a welcome respite from colour drenched maximalism. Let's snuggle up, shall we?

Jayvee, 35, lives in Cainta, Pasig City, with his girlfriend of three years. He identifies as a hikikomori—someone who chooses extreme social withdrawal, often staying within the confines of home. Initially her girlfriend wanted to have children, but through communication, his girlfriend was able to understand his decisions in being childfree.

He views life as inherently bleak and disheartening, a perspective that informs his belief that bringing a child into such a world would be neither responsible nor fulfilling. This sense of bleakness arises from witnessing global issues such as war, poverty, the climate crisis, political instability, and the pressures of capitalism. For him, choosing not to have children is a way of preventing another human being from enduring the same hardships.

As a man, he often hears relatives say his choice to remain childfree shows a lack of manliness or fear of responsibility. Rather than argue, he brushes these remarks off, believing his decision is not weakness, but courage, as he chooses to break the cycle of possibly involving another life in poverty, suffering, or unmet expectations.

He nurtures his relationship through shared experiences, enjoying each other’s favorite hobbies, traveling together, and caring for their two beloved dogs. As they grow older, they make it a priority to secure investments for their future, ensuring their independence rather than relying on others for support.

From these, he emphasizes the need for better accessibility to contraceptives, vasectomy procedures, and elderly care homes in the Philippines. He notes that these services are often difficult to access due to their high cost, lengthy processes, and prevailing social discrimination.

Conclusion

Jayvee's decision to remain childfree is fundamentally an ethical and philosophical stance driven by a deep concern for the state of the world and a desire to protect a potential child from suffering.

Furthermore, Jayvee's critique of the poor accessibility of reproductive choices and elder care in the Philippines highlights a crucial social point: true pro-family policies require supporting all life paths, including those who choose not to parent and those who need independent elderly care. His call for better access to contraceptives and vasectomies is a request for bodily autonomy and gender-equitable reproductive responsibility.

What to Say (Respectful and Validating)

Acknowledge His Ethical Stance:

"That’s a deeply thoughtful and moral position—it takes a lot of care to consider the world you'd be bringing a child into." (This validates his core philosophical reason for the decision, avoiding judgment on his bleak outlook.)

Affirm His Courage:

"It sounds like you’re making a brave choice that goes against a lot of traditional pressure. I see that as a sign of strength, not weakness." (This directly counters the stigmatizing remarks he hears about "lack of manliness or fear.")

Validate His Relationship:

"It’s wonderful that you and your girlfriend have reached an understanding and have that mutual support on such an important life decision." (This validates the power of their communication and partnership in the face of his initial condition and her initial desire.)

Pivot to His Current Focus:
"I respect that decision. What are you focusing your energy on in your current life or relationship?" (This shifts the focus away from his worldview and toward his present reality and relationship.)

What to AVOID (Stigmatizing & Dismissive)

Avoid statements that dismiss his serious philosophical concerns or challenge his manhood.

"You're just being cynical/negative; the world isn't that bad."

(Dismisses his genuine ethical concerns as mere negativity, invalidating his reason.)

"You're only using that as an excuse because you're scared of responsibility."
(Directly attacks his self-defined courage and reinforces the patriarchal stigma he already combats.)

"You'll feel differently once you've overcome your hikikomori phase."

(Links his childfree status to a mental health/social condition, implying the choice is temporary or flawed.)

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